L-I-F-E Theme

Explore LIFE through 4 seasons...... 

I - In SIN, grow best in darkness......

F - Freedom, what is true freedom?

E - Eternal Life

L-I-F-E is a theme I created for my Church Christmas night, each of the letter consist a video to explain the idea of the theme. Feel free to use it for reaching out.

Learn to pray

I recently gone through a series of madness in my life, thanks God I manage to hang in there, knowing He is in control, and I just need to learn to trust. 

Well, as usual my parents are having fights all the time, it's like cat with a dog, one is meowing the other one barking, so my mum decided to move away from my hometown and stay with us for a while. I remember when I was young, my mum would tell me to do things this way or that way, now I am a grown-up, she is still treating me like a baby. 

I have my weird habits of doing things and so is she, but I just need to be patience and let her enjoy having things done her way. (Such as cooking style, the way to arrange the things, cleaning method, ha ha! It's tiny thingy but very annoying!)

On top of that, my mental sick brother is still held up at the center and demand us to take him home, screaming and destroying stuff. (Good grief!) So I got to go down there, sort the things out, talk to him, and negotiate how much to pay back the stuff he destroyed, meet the doctor,  blah blah blah! (The center is so useless in handling this matter, they even asked me what should we do! GOSH!!) I can't believe I paying them money to take care of my brother, and I need to teach them how to do it!! How silly is that! (Huh......take a mint!! Cool down lah....) 

Beside that, I found out that my close one is sick, and I can't do anything about it. And some of my best friends are moving away and I am really aloned with no one to talk to. 

Ok, so I am having these moodiness in me (who wouldn't?), trying to write stories for newspaper, but I can't seem to focus and concentrate. Even at work, I was frustrated with some applicants who calling me everyday (even after working hours...), and it wasn't an important issues to deal right away. 

I suddenly felt insanely jealous of all my friends whom are so successful in their ministry, traveling and doing great things for the Lord, and where am I in God's plan. I was confused, hurt, wet my pillow with tears...... it goes on for a few months.

Then out of the blues, my friend from KL Esther Chong came for a visit to my town, she said that her brother just had an accident two weeks ago. I accompanied her to pay a visit to the local hospital SMC, when we arrive at the ICU ward, her brother was unconcious, and the doctor told us that last night his heart stopped for ten minutes, she immediately ran over to see the brother. Her brother just lying there with all kind of tubes install all over his body, his eyes half open but would not respond when her sister kept calling him "Ah B, Ah B, your sister came all the way from KL to see you. Ah B!..." I was crying deep down inside when I saw the scene. So we stood there and pray for her brother, cried to the Lord to heal him and rescue him. 

After a few days, in much prayers and seeking God's miracle, her brother finally awake, and able to talk. My heart is overjoy and glad to know God did a miracle. I took the chance to share with him the simple truth of the gospel in hakka, he was attentive and agree to accept the Lord, so I led him to prayer of confession and invite Jesus to enter his life. That night, God have change two lives, his life and mine. Through this opportunity to care for others, I no longer focus on my own problems, I see God is showing me, "Trust me son, you are in My good hands, take My hands...".

To my surprise, within a few days after that, I was able to write again, and it is amazing. I was able to write a 1,5oo words stories for three days in a row, three stories in my hands to sent out, and my editors told me she was waiting for my stories to print. 

I praised God for giving me the inspiration, the people in my life to encourage me, even when the problems arises, I know He'll be there......

Currently, I am learning to pray by sending prayers to my friends in Facebook, you might be the next one......   

My Big Fat "Chinese" Life......

Manus Island, Papua New Guinea

My korean friend

Old buddy on Doulos

Nagoya, Japan (Painting the church)

Celebrating Christmas on Doulos

Life takes a spin once in a while! Sometime I felt like a contestant on the "wheel of fortune", you win some, you lose some in life. But what surprise you that, you actually make it to the final round. And there you are thinking of a smart answer to the blank, and clock keeps on ticking..... (ummmmmm.....) it is that feeling again, am I giving the right clues? Am I able to answer it? Will people boo me if I lose? Am I making a fool of myself thinking I can do this? Am I? Am I? I bet we will never know the outcome till the clock ring!!!

This last week in church office, I was packing my mess, thinking about my last three years working in this place. Sad, happy, angry, sorrow, joyful..... emotional feeling strikes me up and making me depressed. I will be moving out, working in another office, step up to something I once like, involve myself to mission works. I can't believe working in church actually limits my service to the community, the church put boundaries upon my ministry. That's why I need to move out, I need to breathe, I need more freedom in serving.

Thanks God for the opening, He enables me to return to OM (Operation Mobilisation, famous for her MV DOULOS and MV LOGOS ship), I can serve inter church and reach out to many more in the community.

I know I win if the Lord is on my side, He have all the answer for me.

Turning Point

Since last June, I was having the roughest time of my life. I lost my wallet with all my important documents such as ID, Driving license, some money & my ATM cards. On top of that, my GF's mum just passed away, and I have a horrible fight with my colleague, and plus my mentally sick brother is coming to visit and I have to take care of him. To sum it up......Life is stink like hell! I hate June!
I never felt so depress with all the terrible twist and knots strangling me, it was a real hard time.
I asked God, what's the purpose of all these sufferings in my life?
Why me?
Why the troubles always approach me in one go, and leaving me breathless? (I really can't breathe! )

Some old man said," In life, no pain no gain! We all learn from our struggles and sufferings, there is no easy way or short cut!"

Well, it was true! As I am looking it back now, I can really see the pain and the gain.

I've been writing story and articles for ten years, and I never really did sent my stuff to the editor, because I don't think I've got what it takes.
One day, it was in that same month June, after all the bitter experiences, I got a phone call from the Bridge Christian Publisher in KL. The editor told me that, my articles will be published in a local Chinese newspaper. You can tell how excited I was when I first heard the news, and having that approval from editor. It was this bittersweet experience, makes me wanna come back to God once more, and allow Him to mold, to fill, to use, so that in the end, I am ready to serve Him more!

If right now, you felt like nothing is right with your life? Don't give up, hang in there, because our good God knows what He is doing, and be completely honest, only in sufferings that we felt God is ever so near to us! Praise God for that insight!

Dare to risk...

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach for another is to risk involvement
To expose your ideas, your deams, before a crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To believe is to risk failure

~But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.
They avoid suffering & sorrow, but they cannot learn, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves, they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

Magical touch

An Orphan without Papa

Before I knew Him as Papa

All I know it's myself,me& I......

Live In my own world!

Confusion, lies & fears

my companions

Just like an orphan

without Papa......

Fall deep in love with MTV

music with foolish words

love just yourself, care no more.......

Wasn't that what we learn

what we see, what we hear

everyday......

We all born needing love

sense of belonging to someone

hunger for attentions......

Ask yourself silently

wasn't that what we seek

looking for , crying for

Just like an orphan

without Papa......

" My child, I'm here! Waiting for you day & night

you orphan no more!!"

cried Papa......

Poems By

Felix Chai

3rd Jan 2001

Dedication to Father's Day......

What makes a dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,

He called it ... Dad
Happy Father's Day! (c:

Money money money..... *($_$)*

What does the Bible said about money?
1 Timothy 6:10 The love of money is at the root of all kinds of evil. (Oops!)
Proverbs 11:28 Trust in your money and down you go! (Aiya!)
Proverbs 19:1 It is better to be poor and honest than to be a fool and dishonest. (What!?)
Proverbs 21:20 Fools spend whatever they get. (Hard hitting!)
1 John 3:17 If one of you has money enough to live well, and sees a brother or sister in need and won't help them-how can God's love be in that person? (Oh no! Me again!)
Luke 6:38 If you give, you will receive. (Oh! I see!)
Proverbs 3:9-10 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything your land produces. Then He will fill your barns with grain. (Wow!)
Luke 12:15 Don't greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own. (That's a beautiful wrap-up!)

Children of tomorrow!?...

Mark of faithfulness

Psalm 103:17-18 The love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear Him. His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to His covenant, of those who obey His commandment.
Revelation 2:10 Remain faithful even when facing death, and I will give you the crown of life.
I never notice that the keychain I bought from the MV Doulos was hanging on my bag! Although I have left the ship like 5 years ago, but my heart pretty much still sailing with the old lady wherever she will be......(The photo below are taken while I was serving on board the ship, grabs from Wendy Phung's blog.) Huh....I should really get a good digital camera!

I'm getting older

Today I got a surprise phone call from my hometown youth! (It was almost 5 years that I am away from my hometown......use to be a youth worker in my home church.) So, this youth of mine by the name of Ah Kuan, I was teaching him when he was like 13-14 something. And now he is really all grow up, looking for a new life in a big city, young and tender, full of dreams & playful, and he is 19 years old! (And how old I became!......) So, I took him for lunch, show him a bit of my church and we have a jamming session in the main hall. He was improve amazingly playing the bass and drums. I remember how he started to learnt those instruments, it was slow and full of mistakes and I always told him to try again slowly. It's lovely how a note grown into a beautiul song, a seed grown into a beautiful tree! I love passing on what God have taught me with the gift and talent He offers me, that's why I beginning to enjoy teaching my music class. Thanks God for letting me have such pleasure to reach out...... Proverbs 22:6 Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.

New lesson learnt after depression...

God really have His own way of dealing with people like me, He allowed people that I hate the most working with me in the same office. They are giving me hard time, making me blow-up, drives me up the wall with their horrible & ridiculous comments. Many a time I felt like getting a gun & shoot this people down, yiiiiiiiiii......good grief! (O Lord, forgive me!)
Well, after much prayers, devotions & reading some good Christian books, God slowly showing me that I could handle the situation if I let Him take control.
God's deliverance does not come from trouble, but in trouble. He offers victoriuos living, not whimpering back door escapism. ~Dr Crossip

Overload.....oops!

I was searching for "Overload" with googles search engine, and this photo pops in my computer. Oh my! What an interesting sight! (The more I look into it I saw myself in it!) I discover something important...
"Don't take on the burdens that are way beyond what we can bear, or else we'll be furious and carry unnecessary baggages upon ourselves!"
Well, right now I was feeling like being stretch with heavy loads and hanging on the air. I guess it's time to unload some and cast it upon the Lord whom embraced me when I need Him the most. Thanks God for reminding me! ^@^

Not Just Peanuts

An agricultural chemist of international fame, George Washington Carver developed hundreds of uses for the peanut, soybean, pecan, and sweet potato. He wanted to help the poor southern farmer whose soil was depleted from years of raising cotton.

Carver converted these lowly peanut and sweet potato into shaving cream, salad oil, instant coffee, vinegar, cold cream, synthetic tapioca, and non-toxic colors, from which crayons were eventually made.

A Congressman once asked Carver where he learned all these things. He said from an old book, the Bible. The Senator was amazed that the Bible told about peanuts. Carver replied that it didn't, "But it tells about the God who made the peanut. I asked Him to show me what to do with the peanut, and He did."

Article from the Church history "Just fun"

ANGER Management!

Oh my! It was a horrible day! Peoples are mad, it's true, peoples are mad, mad, mad! My head was burst like a volcano with smokes, fires and lava shooting out everywhere! I don't know why church peoples are so hard to work with, they are a bunch so called "Saint" with a hallow on their heads. The mouth is full of "Holy" words but never really practice what they preach. (I guess I'm the only sinner there.) Some of them are so rude when they talk to me, HEY! Talk nicely if you need something! (I don't like rude people!) Yiiiii......drive me up the walls!
Ephesians 4:26 "Don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.

Does the sun go away?

This is a beautiful story I read in the book by Jennifer Rees Larcombe "Where have You gone God?"

A few years ago we decided to try the Lake District for our holiday, because everyone kept telling us how beautiful it was there. Two wet, miserable weeks later we drove home again, sneezing all the way. Mountain? Were there any? All we had seen were gloomy clouds hanging low over our heads. Lakes? The lashing rain obscured them. Views? We had seen nothing but misted car windows.
'The sun must've gone to Africa,' my smallest son remarked crossly as we sped down the motorway.
'Don't be silly,' his knowledgeable elder sister replied. 'The sun is always up there shining.'
'If it had been I wouldn't be have felt so cold,' snapped Richard.
'You just have to know it's there even when you can't feel it,' said Naomi with finality. She was right and the same principle applies to God.
I believe in he sun, even when it is not shining.
I believe in love even when I cannot feel it.
I believe in God even when He is silent.

Talk about spiritual desert

Today, I was just reading a book by Jennifer Rees Larcombe"Where have You gone God?". It was written in the book about spiritual deserts of Christian life around the world, including some of the famous world leaders.

Recently, I developed a kind of depression inside of me and really got bored of working in the church, everything seems like a routine to me, I lost my joy in my works! (What a horror!) Well, I guess the best thing for me to do it's just take a walk, quiet down, seeking for refreshments. (So I continue dive into the books!) As I read on, a line from the book pops into my mind... "Here I am, serving God, just where God wants me to be, doing what God wants me to do, until God tells me to do something else." - what a refreshing thoughts and insights! Immediately, I repented and asked God to forgive me for not looking into His bigger plan in my life, how short-sighted am I. Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (NLT)